By James B. Ewers Jr. Ed.D.
I can say with certainty my parents gave me a foundation built on love. I always felt cared about and safe. They poured their humanity into me every day.
Having a good name was important. Keeping a good name was even more important. You kept your good name by making good decisions.
As children, we made some immature decisions, however those decisions did not cause hurt, harm or danger to anyone.
Being mischievous back in the day simply meant carrying out childish pranks. For example, you might leave an empty car- ton of juice in the refrigerator. The question would arise, who did it?
We had neighborhoods in Winston-Salem NC where everyone knew everyone. As kids, we were always in and out of someone else’s house. We were all pretty much social and there weren’t any deep, dark secrets.
With a sense of pride and thanksgiving, I can say we had a caring East Winston community. If something strange or unusual was happening with us, parents would know about it and do something about it.
If you are of a certain age, you probably had similar experiences to mine. The formula was love, caring and communication. These three traits kept us out of confusion and gave us emotional stability.
My dear childhood friends, William Earl and Bishop Graham, whom I have known since elementary school, often talk about the joys we had simply being kids.
Laughing, playing and joking were things we did in abundance. Our responsibilities were to do our best in school and to act like we had some sense. We managed to do both. Being quiet and a loner didn’t happen in our neighborhood. We played outside every chance we had even in cold weather. Being inside was not appealing to us.
Being with our friends was ten times better than watching television or listening to a radio.
Guns were not a part of our community. Deep in my spirit, I don’t believe adults owned guns. That was just the way it was. Now it seems that everyone at least knows someone who owns a gun. Suffice it to say, things are just different these days.
Children and teens now have ready and immediate access to weapons. How can that be? It can be because parents leave guns out and visible coupled with the fact they are loaded. Restrictions on who can purchase them are weak, too.
Some parents have only mi- nor restrictions on their children which sometimes lead to bad outcomes. The other side of that debate is that you want your children to be responsible and to learn how to make wise choices. That’s the fine line that parents find themselves in today. Some parents become querulous and complaining while others remain silent and still.
I suspect the Crumbley family in Michigan grappled with that question. A few weeks ago, Jennifer Crumbley was found guilty of four counts of involuntary manslaughter.
The jury found that she bore some responsibility for her son, Ethan Robert Crumbley, age 15 killing four students and injuring seven other people. This tragedy happened on November 30, 2021, at Oxford High School outside of Detroit Michigan.
The husband, James Crumbley is set to go on trial next month. He, too, is charged with four counts of involuntary man-slaughter.
Reports say that Mrs. Crumbley is the first person to go on trial for a mass shooting carried out by their child.
This case will have reverberations with parents across America. Joe Tamburino,a criminal defense attorney said, “The case will create a huge precedent for further cases. Think about it, the next time there’s some type of schoolshooting, they could arrest the parents. This is going to change the landscape.”
Parenting today is both rewarding and challenging. There are no easy answers and solutions. Being thoughtful and proactive can be safeguards for parents as they raise and rear their children. We are living in perilous and uncertain times.
Dr. James B. Ewers, Jr. is a long-time educator who hails from Winston Salem, N.C. One of the top tennis players in the state, he was inducted into the Black Tennis Hall of Fame in January 2021. A graduate of Johnson C. Smith University, he received his M. A. degree in Education from Catholic University in Washington, DC, and Ed. D. degree in Education from the University of Massachusetts in Amherst, MA. He has also done post-doctoral studies at Harvard University and Ewers is a life member of the NAACP and a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity.
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