MY TRUTH: Bystanders or Standing By

BY: Cheryl Smith

There is really a lot going on in the world today. While I had my words ready to put to paper or on the screen, my heart was telling me one thing while my head was telling me another. 

The wonderful Dick Gregory used to tell me all the time that faith and fear can’t occupy the same space. 

We need faith and work to build a mentally healthier society.

Sometimes I wonder why we have to keep fighting but I know it’s the world we live in and there are so many factors that contribute to this violent, unstable element that is destroying our families. I will come back and revisit some of the many issues we are facing, but today, I have to weigh in on domestic violence.

Recently, you may have read or heard about women being murdered, children being murdered, and men killing themselves. I heard someone say that the order was wrong, more lives could’ve been saved if the last one murdered was the first one murdered. 

Unfortunately the perpetrators of domestic violence are getting younger and younger.  And attacks have become more brutal.

We can all agree that mental illness is real. That we need more experts to deal with the escalating societal ills is a foregone conclusion, and no one should be excused for deviant acts.

 I sighed heavily as I thought about all the women, children and men who are victims of attacks. Usually, I cite statistics, trying to illustrate the gravity of the violent assaults that occur daily and appear to show women as victims more than men,

But what do the numbers mean in the whole scheme of things? One woman, one child, or one man, is one too many.

A note is on my desk in my office from a woman who I thought was brilliant. I remember saying she may be the first black female mayor of Dallas, Texas.

It’s been almost two decades since we heard the news of a murder-suicide, and what I thought was possible became impossible. 

I was shocked.  Just goes to show you that you really don’t know what is going on in someone else’s home or relationship.

Recently I heard about a shooting that involved eight children, with seven of them deceased. I can’t help but think about the young ones in my family. 

I believe every child deserves a chance to live and enjoy life. No one should take that experience away from anyone. Unfortunately, however, we live in a society that continues to inflict pain and destroy instead of uplifting and building.

 I have not forgotten about the father who in his late 20s, raped his infant daughter. It hurts to think about that precious child, and to know that wasn’t an isolated case.  She didn’t live through the ordeal and some might say it was for the best because she had been brutalized so much it just seemed impossible for her to have a decent life.

I never heard what caused this father who had limited visitation rights with his daughter to commit such a vicious act. Was he mentally ill or was he using drugs? I just thought about how horrible that assault was, and I was praying no other child, woman or man, would ever suffer like she did. 

Sadly similar assaults or worse have been recorded in our history books; so violent, deviant, savage behavior is not a new phenomenon.

Today, we must do better. If you are in a better place, or if you are in a healthy relationship and you see someone or know of someone with challenges, find out how you can help without being judgmental and critical.  

We must seek help also so that we can help those who can’t help themselves. Sure you are healthy, and everything is hunky dory; Now. But soon everything may come around to your door and you will wish someone would help you!

I know there are people who see things and don’t say anything and there are people who speak up.

If anyone has said to you, after hearing of an assault, “I wish I had…”, let that be a lesson to you that you need to be all in this thing called life!  

I have faith that future generations will stand by those in need instead of being bystanders.

We have to care about others and shouldn’t go through life as bystanders.