by: Vincent L. Hall
‘Twas the night before Christmas and through the White House,
Not a creature was stirring, not even at the MAGA Outhouse.
The Stock Market was “dipping,” BITCOIN cupboards were bare,
Billionaires dreamed of more tax breaks that would soon be theirs.
Immigrant children were nestled snug in warm bedding,
Parents peered through windows for ICE agents they were dreading.
My boo can’t afford a weave…I’m addicted to strong nightcaps,
And the whole world has had it with all Trump’s macho crap.
When out on the White House lawn, there arose such a clatter,
Pete Hegseth was caught lying, which is the fact of the matter.
Away to the scapegoat he flew like a flash,
Called his FOX News cronies and pulled back the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Made a silhouette of an East Wing that exists no more.
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But a leak from Epstein’s files made his island look queer!
But Vance looked relieved, so lively and quick,
He knows how to muddy waters and how to turn tricks.
More rapid than eagles his courses they came,
The old press corps erased, a new handpicked crew of no-names!
“Now Thune, now Barrasso, now Johnson and Scalise,
On Elon, On Noem, On Kennedy, On Miller!
To the top two percent! To the hostile border wall!
To the poor and the immigrant, just Dash away all!”
As dry leaves furiously gather on the Capital yard,
Job losses are rising, and life’s getting really hard.
But here at the White House, where MAGA flags flew,
There were sleighs full of perks for the Rich and the Few.
And then, in a twinkling, good news from the Big Apple,
A new breed of Democrats which Republicans must grapple.
Chuck Schumer seemed puzzled, peeking over his glasses,
But he knew he was hearing from the party’s masses.
He’s been dressed in feigned furor, from his head to his foot,
Now his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
Chuck bet against the future for the very last time,
And he looked like a straw man as he continued to whine!
As Santa looked on, His eyes-how they twinkled!
His arrival was near, but he had a new wrinkle.
His droll little mouth was bereft of a smile,
He grew sicker and sicker as he drove every mile.
No SNAP for poor children, No coverage for the sick,
Just a nation full of hatred, but of love not a lick!
He had a fiendish grin and a look of loss,
But he’s the CEO of Christmas, He’s still the Boss!
Santa drove out the crew from D.C.’s sinister residence,
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and now he was President!
Cleared the Halls of Congress of its cowardly class,
Rid the Pentagon of dishonor and kicked Miller in his Ass!
Made a call to Ukraine, made a commitment to Zelensky,
Advised the Generals and Admirals to end Russia’s aggression.
Called Netanyahu before he drained his cookie jar,
America would no longer fund his genocidal war!
Now the workers, seniors and the children were happy again,
They had food to eat, health care, so many reasons to grin.
They thanked Santa for restoring true love and compassion,
There was peace in the land, Trump and MAGA sent packing!
A long-time Texas Metro News columnist, Dallas native Vincent L. Hall is an author, writer, award-winning writer, and a lifelong Drapetomaniac.
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