By Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew
One of the biggest mistakes many of us make is listening to too many voices. There are over 300 million entries on Google for life coaches and 1,140,000,000 results for relationship experts.
We live in a world that makes it so accessible to find someone online or on social media espousing advice. It’s not just about degrees and certifications. If that’s solely what you are basing your decision on, that’s not enough.
Some of us are listening to people who do not have the skills, experience or wisdom. These individuals are seeking notoriety, money or even acknowledgement.
Truthfully, much of the advice many of these people are offering does not even work for them. They are telling others how to live and yet, their lives are in shambles. It’s important to use discretion when you choose to listen to the guidance of others. “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” (Proverbs 12:26) Those you surround yourself with make a difference. “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” (Proverbs 13:20 NLT).
Those we spend time with can change our destiny— “You were doing so well! Who made you stop obeying the truth? How did he persuade you? It was not done by God, who calls you.” (Galatians 5:7-8)
We need to be careful about those that we call our friends that offer advice. It’s not what they say but pay attention to their actions and how they live.
“Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruits; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit; neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”
(Matt. 7:15–20.) Evaluate their results.
Even our well-meaning friends can impact our lives with bad guidance. A recent example is Tyrese Gibson’s ex-wife, Samantha Lee.
She was recently on Hardly Initiated, a podcast on YouTube where she shared about her divorce and the cost of listening to others: “The truth about the matter is that if I had different people in my ear at that time, I would not have made that decision…And that’s the truth.”
She’s not alone. Her friends really wanted what was best for her but it wasn’t the best advice in retrospect. Many find themselves in bad situations because of listening to those whose counsel is not rooted in Godly wisdom.
“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night” (Psalm 1:1-2 NKJV).
There are friends and then there are frenemies. Jeremiah 9:5-9 reminds us that there are people that are close to us that we must be careful of trusting: “Their tongue is a deadly arrow; it speaks deceitfully. With their mouths they all speak to their neighbors, but in their hearts, they set traps for them.”
There are others who are seeking advice to affirm their bad behavior. They seek out individuals who say what they want even if it is wrong.
The Bible warns us of this: “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths.” (2 Timothy 4:3) This short-term satisfaction is a set up for long-term suffering.
Want life-giving truth? “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways ac- knowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
It doesn’t mean that you won’t have challenges but Psalms 37:23- 24 states, “Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the LORD holds them by the hand.”
Despite the significant number of deceptive practices and people, you can’t go wrong when you go to God for guidance.
Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew is the President of Soulstice Consultancy and the Founder of the Reconciliation and Restoration Foundation. She is also the author of four books and the host of the Tapestry podcast.
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