Big Mama Said: “You Don’t Have to Pull Out the Whole Recipe Book to Prove You Can Cook”

By: Terry Allen

Big Mama Lucille had a way of cutting right to the truth with one line that stuck in your soul. She used to say, “You don’t have to pull out the whole recipe book to prove you can cook — just let them taste what’s on the plate.”

What she meant was this: you don’t need to flaunt every skill, show every credential, or announce every good deed. Let your actions — especially the quiet ones —speak for you.

I think of Oseola McCarty, a washerwoman from Mississippi. She never sought attention, never had a platform, and lived her life in humble service. Yet when she decided to give away her life savings — $150,000 — to help complete strangers get a college education, the world noticed. She didn’t make speeches or build a PR campaign. She simply let the “meal” she’d been cooking in her life speak for itself.

I also think of the work happening at Body & Soul Dallas. Under the leadership of Program Director Jermaine Bouyer, and supported by fellow SMU alumni LeaH Parker and my Divine 9 AKA sister Bridgette Mitchell, this organization has been quietly feeding bodies and souls in our community. They’re not chasing headlines; they’re creating health programs, providing nutritious food, and giving hope to those in need. Week after week, they put love on the table — sometimes literally — and change lives through consistency, compassion, and commitment.

Or take the quiet power of everyday volunteers — the kind who serve in soup kitchens, mentor a young person, or check on an elderly neighbor without anyone clapping for them. These folks don’t post it on social media or look for recognition. They just show up, again and again, and in doing so, they change lives. That’s a recipe you can’t fake.

I’ve lived this lesson myself with City Men Cook. When we started, it wasn’t about being flashy. It was about showing up for our community, celebrating Black men as chefs, role models, and contributors. Over the years, what began as a community event grew into a cultural statement, shifting how people saw Black men in kitchens, in families, and in leadership. We didn’t have to pitch the whole recipe book — we just kept serving one great dish at a time until people understood the flavor.

The Bible puts it like this in Romans 15:1: “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.” Your strength is proven when you use it to lift someone else. And James 1:19 reminds us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to get angry.” Sometimes the best witness is quiet, steady faith in action.

So whether your “gravy” is money, talent, wisdom, or simple compassion — let it spill over to someone else’s plate. And remember Big Mama’s words: you don’t have to pull out the whole recipe book to prove you can cook. Just serve the meal God gave you, and let the taste tell the story.

Terry Allen is an NABJ award-winning Journalist, DEI expert, PR professional, and founder of the charity – Vice President at FocusPR, Founder of City Men Cook, and Dallas Chapter President of NBPRS.org